After Lunch, or How the Trump Gopher Brain Works

World famous anthropologist and gopher psychologist Dr.Weldone-Gridpipethin G.G. (Belmont & Santa Anna) regarding Gopher President Elroy Trump from his paper ‘The President’s Many Thoughts’ delivered to the AFSCME sanitary workers conference (SWC) Western Burrows 2023. 12.30am.


‘Gopher Ladies and aspiring gopher politicians,before I delve deeper here is a simple explanation of my thesis:

Though hundreds of examples of trumpian modification of phenotypes have been published, few studies have been conducted outside of the laboratory setting. Therefore, the interactions of genes and trumpian lifeforce with the environment cannot be inferred despite the central role of environment in natural selection. Experimental methodologies for manipulating trumpian mechanisms are nascent and will need rigorous demonstration before studies explicitly testing the relative contributions of genotype, environment, and trumpian interactions are feasible.

Following is the more advanced version:

Let us examine some of our great leader’s writings:
(attrib. Elroy 2019). We now approach a topic of relationships, which, in entertainment, I have some knowledge but obviously in life I have little (working briefly as a burrow excavator and stand-up comic). Every element in a gopher politician can only be considered in its relationship with the other parts.
‘Very revealing I am sure to most of you, particularly the gopher democrats.’

(attrib. Elroy 2022) Let us imagine our life as a burrow and the burrow has a partition. On one side of the partition is a continually moving, changing environment of disorder or chaos. It is populated by all the creatures of the imagination (huge snakes, cats, dogs and eagles) and more than a few not invited. It is a world of the surreal, of dreams and nightmares, of anti-logic and senselessness (members of the gopher press know this well). On the other side of our partition we have order, logic and regular forms, the world of the pyramids, spheres and cubes, the world of habit, pattern and order.
‘Those of you who clean the Senate latrine burrows should be well aware of both these elements since the second category tend to stick in the pipes.’

(attrib. Elroy 2020) Some gophers are not comfortable until the partition is forced to one end of the burrow (90% order 10% chaos). Others can live in a 50/50 situation, and yet others rejoice in the high chaos count. Some gophers believe it is a factor of age, gender, right or left brain, or early potty-training. Some refer to it as the famous gopher Heckle and Jyde syndrome while others mistake it as a threat.
I believe most live with both sides of gopher existence and recognize the importance of each. We gophers need chaos to think laterally to be inventive; to associate disparate ideas and concepts. Controlled chaos is the life blood of the a gopher’s creative political idea though this is not to underestimate the value of pattern, order and habit that are the very tools that allow meaning to be drawn from disorder; the foundation blocks of moral and civilized gopher thought.
‘You who work mostly in the sewers will most likely understand what I mean particularly in regard to foundation blocks.’

(attrib. Elroy 2022) Most classical gopher tuition usually concerns itself with the 'rules and order' side of the burrow in an attempt to define and symbolize the chaos about us. For some this may have moved the partition back a little. Never mind, just think of what you have learnt as a small toolbox with which the gopher politician can use to assemble and understand whatever the imagination demands. Chaos is not a bag of matted fur, it is rather a wardrobe of sleek pelts to be worn and perhaps cast aside.
‘I know all are concerned with the flippers and goggles you wear as part of your underground wardrobe for work so this will come as no surprise but dirty matted fur is something we all try and avoid.’

(attrib. Elroy 2023) Experiments of political movements are all attempts at dissembling and re-assembling, of moving into chaos to discover some new meaning. We should all similarly experiment, especially when we find order stifling creativity. I view it like this: Gophers don't resolve things gophers construct relationships.
‘I know all of you are on your short lunch break so I hope these few comments on the thoughts of President Elroy Trump will help you understand better the intellectual sophistication going on above and over your heads in the top tunnels.

Thank you gophers all and goodnight.

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