A GOPHER POLITICIAN - A LESSON IN LOGIC

GoP, GoC or Other

How to view your gopher candidate

There are three major political parties in Gopher world that covers the area between the North Platte River and the South Platte River. They are the GoP (Gopher's of Progress) and the GfC (Gopher's for Change). Essentially the GoP is for improving the under-soil life of the gopher (better tunnels, quality of life and jobs) while the GoC is for more above ground activities (more sunlight, fairer treatment for all gophers). The third group has no policies as such but vehemently opposes the GoP and the GoC and known as the FA (Far Away).

A gopher politician usually belongs to one party however many have changed parties to accommodate their chances of being elected. Gopher Sandi Hend is an aspiring candidate from the tunnels of Yourk City in the northern region of Platte County with great ambition but very little else to recommend her and hence needs to enlist the PR services of ABlindEye.Inc. to develop an image of a gopher that is caring but responsible, intellectually daunting but not arrogant, dogmatic but flexible, loyal but pragmatic. In addition she needs a make-over in appearance that will transform her from a gopher who never had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) to one that would attract an adoring crowd in any tunnel system she needed to visit. After all that she will then need to decide whether to join the GoP or the GoC.

"Well Sandi it seems as if we will need to create a pearl necklace from scratch", said Heidy Oyster pushing her pink glasses further up her nose as she examined the drab looking gopher before her, "or a silk purse from a sow's ear as the saying goes, no offence meant!" Heidy was a lifetime member of the FA and he number one make-over gopher from Ablindeye Inc.

"As an example of what we can do here I am going to make your image into a pearl necklace."

Sandi is a little startled, "I hope this is not painful?"

"Of course not, it is just a little demonstration so you can begin to understand something of our methods. First and foremost we require light and a setting, then we need to examine and use the relationships that bind all elements together and manipulate them. It is in knowing what these are and the rules that govern their interaction that allows the construction of our final image and enables us to render the final result believable."

"I don't understand a word of that. You lost me after 'demonstration'."

"Just stand over there in front of that window while I do a little rough sketch," said Heidy.

As Heidy worked with her pad she commented, "When I finish the sketch I will be using our computer to complete the process. Later we shall be doing something similar when we isolate your features and examine their possible alterations, relationships and improvements."

Heidi held up the pad for Sandi "Here is my basic sketch of you, the window and then together."

You	The Window	You and the Window

"Now let us put this on the computer and imagine this is someone else’s' eye'." Hiedy moved over to the computer and scanned in the sketch."What do you imagine that 'eye' would see?"

"Yes," said Sandi, "something like 'me and the window' I suppose, but how is this going to help make a pearl necklace?"

"Be patient!. Now let us add a blue ceiling, some walls and a red table. This is roughly what the pearl would see if it could see. Next we squeeze it into a round shape. I know it looks rather raw and nothing like a pearl at this stage." said Hiedi pushing and clicking the mouse here and there.

blue ceiling, walls and red table	make it round

"Now we rid ourselves of the black edges. Then, since a pearl is not a perfect mirror, I will blur everything. Now we can and add a little milky screen."

She looked up at Sandi. "I remember pearls are a little milky, aren't they?"

Sandi nodded expecting very little to come of all of this .

no edges and blur	milky screen

"Still too much saturated color and dark values - perhaps another yellowish screen ... OK: let's cut it out and give it a hard edge ... as it is not made of fur!" Hiedy continued now as if talking to the computer.

yellow screen	a harder edge

"That's looks better!"

"Now for our beautiful string!"

Heidy stood up from the computer and addressed Sandi, "So thus we have constructed a pearl from nothing. Just like a political campaign transforms a wannabe nobody into a promising political candidate. Our difficulty becomes when the gopher politician sometimes has difficulty keeping reality in plain view after our make-over."

As a Far Away (FA) member I must say it is important we learn the essence or nature of a gopher candidate before we worship them as pearls or anything else. Everything exists in relationship to media, exposure, light and all other things. The rest is simple understanding of the gopher condition and applied logic."

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